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The Mistake Lonely People Make

Posted by Jody Urquhart on Wed, Jul 02, 2014 @ 01:32 PM

keynote speakerThe mistake lonely people make is they hide their brilliance.

Lonely people are walking around all over the place. They often go unnoticed and they prefer it that way. Standing out makes them vulnerable.

Simply looking up seems like begging to them. Their fear is that someone will notice them and judge. This fear, based on false expectations appearing real, holds them back and stifles them from sharing their gifts with others. If we don't speak up people can't hear us.

As a motivational speaker I think I see these people in the audience all the time. They often sit on their own and quietly observe. They pray that they won't get singled out. They may be there because they are being forced or they need the continuing education credits.

How do I know they are lonely? I don't, but I imagine they must be. After awhile, being alone can box you in and suffocate you.

You do not have to be perfect, entertaining or beautiful for others to like you. In fact some reasearch ( possibly compiled by ugly people) shows ugly people have more friends.

What upsets me is that people don't have to live this way. To build confidence around others it may help lonely people to realize we are all lonely in some way or another. Some of the people who jump up and down and constantly cry Notice Me are really just lonely inside too. Their insecurities are more outwordly broadcast to the world because they are comfortable doing so.

Many, many people have regular awkward moments where they are thrust into the limelight and they simply fake it (until they make it). Meaning they wobble around, stick out their chest and act like they have it all together. But they don't. Nobody does.

I have met comedians, motivational speakers, even politicians who are shy. When caught up in their craft, delivering a motivational speech, political speech or comic routine-  they are at their best. It is a planned, practiced, researched best. Outside of the spotlight they too cry for real, authentic human connection.

If there is anything missing in today's fast paced, digital world it is authentic connection. This requires leaving the comfort of your coach to engage with others. The only way to create this engagment is to take a leap of faith from your living room to brave the outside world. It is scary out there. Some very weird people are creeping around pubs, walmart and the home depot. Keep in mind, they are still people- just like everyone else.

The human condition makes it that no matter how fancy our technology and trinkets are we are still just people. We eat, sleep, drink and feel. No technology can do this for you.

As I travel across North America, I think people from all cultures are more alike then different.

Sometimes lonliness is a phase people enter in life. Many once gregarious professionals who retire don't find occasion be around people, so they stay in the isolation of their home.

The mistake lonely people make is they hide their brilliance.

Isolation can be a great soul searching experience. At some people emerge and share your gifts with the world.

The world is waiting.

Tags: motivational speaker, motivational speech, lonely people

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