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PLAY, an Interpersonal Skill that Decreases Stress

Posted by Jody Urquhart on Mon, Dec 29, 2014 @ 03:35 PM

fun at work speakerWhat do noble prize winners, artists, performers and well adjusted children have in common?

They play enthusiastically.

What do mass murders, abused children, burnt out employees and depressed people have in common?

They systematically lack play in their lives

- 1989, fun at work Conference Speaker from Institute for Play

Laughter always contains the hope of redemption
We need people to bring us levity when times get tough

-Jody Urquhart, fun at work speaker

Do you want to enhance your interpersonal skills,create wellness, balance, have fun at work and decrease stress? Than you will need inspiration to gradually quiet the chatter in your head.

Consider all the thoughts and judgments you have when you walk into work everyday. To improve the quality of your day, let go of judging yourself, conflict in your job and with others and let go of your attachments to outcomes. Stop thinking so much.

I have a friend who analyses the heck out of everything. In the process something starts as a small problem and turns into a monumental conflict. Her reality gets skewed and diminishes in a storyline that is unrealistic. I remind her it is far better to discount off base assumptions and focus on reality (what happened, who said what). Always give the other party the right to clarify what they mean.

The foundation for reducing stress is to accept life as it is and not fight it. It is amazing how many people fight reality. When you hear people say things like, I hate my job, I hate this constant workload and deadlines, I hate that I don’t get much acknowledgment at work, this is the fight. These are all reality but the time we spend fighting it, grudging it and worrying about it contributes more to our stress than the actual reality.
Accept the present, let go of judgment, and trust yourself and others.

Mind chatter gets in the way of listening and undermines other leadership qualites and interpersonal skills.
All thought is made up of what you hear, what you think you heard, what you think the other person is trying to say, your agenda, what is important to you, what happened in the past, etc etc. Do you really hear what others are saying?

Listen beyond what you want to hear
Don’t judge others ideas as good or bad just something to work with. I like to approach listening with the concepts of improv which accepts every idea is an offer and the rule of the game is you have to accept it even if you don’t agree.

In the business world if leadership could approach others ideas as offers that we have the opportunity to accept; we would create more open, fluid, listening work environments. The next time someone says something, see this as an offer you can do something with and not a source of conflict to get rid of.

Even the stupid ideas deserve respect
Accept all ideas. This way you show people you are listening and willing to consider their ideas. When you say no or disagree with an idea the flow is killed, inspiration is shot. Instead say yes and add to the idea or alter it to make it work. When you say yes you are rewarded with action when you say no you are rewarded with stilted ideas, a loss of energy and motivation.

Chose a positive and fun attitude
Even on the worst day you could choose to take on a positive attitude and it would change the outcome of the day. Even if your not a motivational speaker.

Take the perspective of fun.
When you are having fun you are not judging ideas or people. You are in the moment. The more playful an environment is the more fluid, creative, fun and real it is. Fun is open and inclusive and invites people to be involved.

Play is the state of being where you have the most inspiration and feel most alive

Most people don’t have enough fun at work and yet so far I have never met someone who has been work- deprived.

What blocks ideas, creativity, inspiration and energy in your life?

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