Feel-Good Habit #1- There are no good or bad people.
The way we act is most relevant to what we’re focused on at the time.
Focusing on good things makes you feel good while focusing on conflict makes you feel bad.
When a situation calls forth anger, it’s your focus on that anger (or what caused it) that holds it in your life.
Do you want sadness, anger or depression? Of course not; nobody ever does. It’s just your focus on these emotions that keeps them alive. Focus on happiness, hope, compassion and love instead.
Is other people’s negativity getting you down? Give yourself over to compassionate thoughts. Give them the benefit of the doubt and move on to thinking about the stuff you do like.
Feel-Good Habit #2- Fun is a feeling, not a goal.
Time flies when you're having fun. It’s because that blissful feeling is showing you the power of the present moment. You are immersed in every moment while you are having fun. Time flies by because you're not pushing against it with doubt or effort.
Want more fun in your life? Stop planning future fun and start living it now. The feeling of fun is all you need to focus on. It’s not a goal; it’s a feeling.
Feel-Good Habit #3- Thoughts gain momentum as you continue to ponder them.
When you think positively, you move forward. When you think negatively, you move backward.
Most people think it's their circumstances that shape their reality. It’s not, it’s their thoughts and feelings that create their world.
Take any area of your life that feels good to you, and know that it’s your positive thoughts that helped you move forward.
Take any area of your life that feels bad to you, and know that your critical thoughts are holding you back.
Change the direction of your thoughts and change your reality.
Is there a part of your life that you wish to change?
Consistently think positively—a few times a day for upwards of a month—about that part of your life, and it will evolve. You will see forward momentum in that specific aspect of your life.
Feel-Good Habit #4- Rewards Trivialize Passion.
Reward and punishment are how we motivate most people. At work, at school and as parents, we reward others for good behaviours and punish them for bad ones.
This motivation system does have value because it creates clarity, and people know the consequences (or perks) of their actions
Being told how to act is limiting. It can work in the short term, but in the long term, it creates resentment. If you have faith in people and believe in them, they will likely exceed your expectations. It also doesn't encourage problem solving or critical thinking.
Inside everyone is an inner drive and passion. There is a reason someone chose to work with you. You also chose them for their passion and skills. Why limit the very thing that you wanted in people in the first place?
The reward is within.
The next time you feel the urge to get people to comply with protocol or act a certain way, hold back from controlling people with reward and punishment.
Instead, remind yourself about the value of the change you are asking for. Live that change in yourself first. If it’s a goal, go after it yourself before asking it of anyone else. What’s the value of the goal? What feels good about it? How does it help others?
Once you feel its inspiration, you can share it with others. It will feel natural, not forced.
Now your only job is to believe in your people. It's so much more rewarding.