Best Selling negotiation author and motivational speaker, Chester Karrass, suggests when you ask people to change new ideas for old ones, you are asking them to discard old friends for new ones.
They have grown accustomed and committed to these relationships and letting them go is not easy.
In order to get others to change, we are asking them to give up something from the past to move forward. It is a negotiation where we have to entice someone, showing them what benefits change has to offer. Negotiate how letting go of the past has more benefit than holding onto it.
The truth is most people make decisions based lightly on fact and almost entirely on their assumptions. Those assumptions are more likely to be wrong than right. They are a poorly educated guess at best. However, it makes up over 60 percent of our decision, so don't underestimate those assumptions.
We can assume the best and end up not being prepared or we can assume the worst and end up not trying.
Negotiation Skills to Nudge People to Change
1) Help people decipher fact from assumption. Shine a light on the assumptions people make about their current situation. Show them the flaws of what they assume offer them comfort, stability, convenience or other be nefits. Next, show them how the change paves the way for a better future.
2) Make realistic assumptions about others. If we are compelling people to change, we will need to set our own assumptions. To plan your strategy, you must assume- what risks someone is willing to take, what they can or will do, what is most important to them, and how long it will take them to move forward. Don't take these assumptions too seriously, they are not right or wrong until proven so.
3) Change is not negotiable. Here's the hard part, if an organization is committed to a change, it is not optional. We can't give some people the option of opting out of change, everybody must be on board. However, you can't force people to change. Thus, we need to understand others' perspectives (and assumptions) and offer some give and take along the way. However, the actual change itself should never be offered as an option. We may be able to negotiate timing, some work conditions, context or setting but not the change itself.
From Chester Karrass new book Give & Take available on Amazon.com.