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How to Persuade without Force

Posted by Jody Urquhart on Thu, Mar 22, 2018 @ 12:31 PM

Have you ever wished you had more influence over others?

funny motivational speakerMost people use a handful of communication habits over and over again throughout life.  We start to believe the way we communicate is the only way. These patterns could be turning people off your ideas. 

 

Consider how you want to influence. I'll share with you a recent example.

I walked into my son's room, and it was a disaster area. I lost control and shouted at him to clean up his room now. 
The forcefulness of the message did prompt action, but it didn’t make him reflect and say, wow this is the wake-up call I need. Force is not Influence. 

A better way to influence him is to:

  • Show him the benefits of a clean room 
  • Get his input 
  • Show him resources or techniques to help him clean up
  • Appreciate him for his efforts


These four steps are critical to long-term influence in any relationship. Instead of getting angry and forcing compliance, you involve people and get their buy-in.

It also helps to understand and appreciate what others are trying to accomplish and adapt to them. Here your communication style could get in the way. We all tend to influence others the way that we would be affected. However, everyone has different values, goals, and background- and this will color their decision making.

The best way to get to this information is to ask someone, what are your objectives directly or say, This seems like a great idea(put a positive suggestion in their head), what do you think? Get to the core of whatever their hesitation is so you can address that objection.

Understanding influence is important to anyone. Some people don't recognize they have the power to influence others, instead they end up being influenced. If you try small things, you will likely see they can make a big difference. 

Remember, the best way to truly get what you want is to simply ask for it in a direct and assertive way. Because most people are so distratcted you have to wear them down for your ideas to get through.

 

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