Are you locked in a pattern of conflict? Do you work with someone you can't stand? Some relationships continually revolve around conflict.
The routine battle is a pattern that's hard to escape. You can't escape the frequent conflict until you see the pattern.
Relationships are always the same; you can pile them into good, bad or neutral. The only reason relationships don't change is we don't see the patterns.
Common Negative Relationship Patterns :
You get close to people by getting close to them, not pushing them away. Do you push people away when they try to get close? Some behavioural patterns could be: not answering the phone, acting too busy, or not revealing any personal challenges or struggles. Remember, vulnerability brings people closer. You also cant build connections with people if you are unavailable for them.
You judge people because you don't know them or understand them. When you take the time to understand people, they are much more relatable. Nobody sets out to make a mistake, make you look bad or be mediocre. It's best to give people the benefit of the doubt until you can learn more about them. What you don't know about someone, don't assume or judge. Could you get to know them instead?
You have conflict in a relationship because conflict is what attracts you over and over to the person. It takes two people to have a relationship and two people to keep the battle alive. You may find that without conflict, this relationship can't survive. What attracts you to the person is the conflict. Remember, fighting is communicating. It's not the best way to communicate, but it does help you clarify preferences and expectations. Take accountability for your part in the conflict by recognizing your pattern.
What are your relationship patterns?
Anger is a typical relationship pattern. Through anger, you don't disturb or punish anyone but yourself. Anger is hard. It feels like you burn up inside. Nobody enjoys rage, but it's one of the more common emotions. If you pin your anger on anything or anyone, it will worsen.
Female Keynote Speaker Video : Inner Peace or Outer Conflict?
The only way to soothe anger is inside yourself. The trouble with negative emotion is we take it personally. If you let the anger go, you find breathing room. Just have compassion for yourself or others, and anger will subside.
Cranky people seldom take advice. They need to learn by experience, and their disruptive emotion shows they are not receptive to learning.
If you try to advise them, you lose your peace. It's not worth it. The best way to deal with cranky people is to not go down with them. Sustain your stability amid their chaos. Show them understanding or relate to their bad feelings if you can. Break the pattern you have in conflict by not participating in it.