Habit #1- Focus on what brings you together, instead of your differences.
Everybody has biases. It’s our brain’s way of categorizing things as good or bad, right or wrong. When a bias starts to take up a lot of your attention, it gains a much more powerful force inside you. It will impact your decisions.
It’s because you keep thinking about the same biased ideals that they get stronger. No amount of picking apart and analyzing what’s right or wrong will make that bias subside. It just gives it more force.
Instead of analyzing and picking apart your ( or others) biases, just focus on what you want. Most people want good relationships, trust, love, appreciation, success, happiness, compassion, opportunity.
Focus on any one of these things, and you can’t go wrong.
Habit #2- Don't let your mood impact your day.
Fear, doubt or worry will cause you to misinterpret circumstances or people.
Doubt causes you to be critical. But critical thought is not reality, it’s warped to protect you.
Let your good feelings guide your decisions, not your bad ones.
Habit #3- Focus on anything positive in an experience.
You know you are getting the best out of something by feeling good about it. As long as you focus on your disappointment you limit the experience.
If you are disappointed and feel let down by an experience, focus on the reason you came ( it will always be positive).
The only thing you have control over is your choice to be there.
Habit #4- Anger only holds you back, not anyone else.
The only person disadvantaged by your own anger is you. Anger will never help you.
Anger always feel justified, but it's more about your perpetual thoughts and perspective than reality. Anger comes from assessing others behaviour (based on assumptions) and labelling it as fact.
Anger arises because you will need to defend your assumptions.
Wallowing in resentment is what keeps the anger alive. Let go of angry, resentful thoughts, and you will see things differently.
It's so much more rewarding to focus on compassion, understanding, appreciation, hope or possibility.
The next time you feel angry, search for understanding. Try to relate to the other person's perspective. Appreciate the challenging (usually uncontrollable) circumstances that brought you here.
Nothing is ever right or wrong, and we have different perspectives, which makes us all unique. But our assessments and labels create much stress.
~Quote by Malachy McCourt