If you make difficult people 100% of the problem, they are also 100% of the solution. Taking accountability for how you accomodate difficult behaviour will eliminate doubt and put you back in control.
What are you teaching that allows people to treat you the way they do? Some of the ways people react when faced with diffcult people are: They ignore them, pretend they don't bother us, or getting emotionally charged, fight back or walk away. All of these things ( and a laundry list of many other ways we deal with difficult people) allow difficult people to continue on their path of distruction.
Difficult people allow us to learn about ourselves. Continually harboring anger and being in a space where all of your energy is wrapped up in these people is toxic. Instead remain neutral. Remind yourself to be assertive and not aggressive.
RAISE the ante- It's a tough lesson to learn but ultimately we can't change people. This does not mean we should allow people to get away with things. When faced with a difficult situation, Identify what is at stake if someone doesn't change. What is at stake has to be for the person doing the difficult behaviour. The reason they continue on with this disregard is because there isn't enough at stake for them to change. What consequences can you impose?
A Motivational Speaker known as the Transition Man, suggests there are 5 things that people feel they may lose when dealing with you that will move them to change. These 5 things are:
- Love and Respect.
If people feel they will lose any of these things through interacting with you, they will naturally respond in a vexatious way. Thus, help them understand these are simply a consequence of their behavior and through simple changes they can avoid these.