Are you a Positive Person? If you are, you likely know it. Staying eternally positive can be challenging at the best of times. It takes effort to maintain a sunny disposition.
It can be difficult to count your blessings when you are confronted with loss and disappointment, and it is doubly difficult when those instances are weighted down with people who measure their lives by their dissatisfactions. Positive people can find their positivity being continually drained by the negative people surrounding them, requiring a recharge of positivity with optimistic thoughts to maintain a buoyant perspective.
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Prophets of doom tend to be drawn to positive people as a way to lift them up or as a source of substance to validate their negative thoughts. Alternately, positive people feel compelled to spread their optimism, support others and provide value. Optimistic people may swoop in and try to help the ‘Realists’ going through difficult times, showering them with energy and validation when they feel down.
If you are a positive person, you will relate to this if you find yourself surrounded by others who feed on drama and stress – then come to you for answers or support. You can easily deplete your positive resources to temporarily prop up and sustain your negative friends, when, ultimately, they will return to their cynical selves. Sometimes we positive people support that repetitive cyle, spending time with those leading challenging lives because it makes our own lives seem so much better in comparison – not to mention our need to show others “Don’t worry – be happy” is better!
When I realized this pattern in my life, it gave me huge strength to start focusing on the people who want to be positive and in control of their lives. I started spending time with people who uplift me and others.
Like any self development tool, knowing this cycle is playing out in your relationship circle will be your greatest ally.
Want to support your sunny disposition?
Surround yourself with positive people. Who are the people you spend the most time with? These are the people who influence you the most. The people around you influence what you think is possible and how you spend your time.
Cut out the Negative People?
This doesn’t mean walking up to someone and announcing “By the way, I have made a decision to not spend time with you because you don’t lift me up.” It just means you take an inventory of the friends, colleagues and family members you spend the most time with, recognize your relationship roles and the cycle of dependence on each other, and decide if each relationship inspires you. Next, choose to spend more time with people who inspire you.
Inventory the people who surround you.
If you feel really ok, comfortable and content around these people, ask yourself why. Is it because the group shares common goals and attitudes? Or is it because you feel no pressure to grow when you are around these people? Limit time spent with people who don’t replenish your resources and spend your significant amount of time with those who support and inspire you.
If your cohorts pull you into activities you are not proud of (i.e. complaining, drinking, gossiping, procrastinating), then they likely do not inspire you to be the best you can be.
Spend time with positive people who want to be better in life. Competent, positive people really want you to do better and succeed. Recognize that growth is sometimes uncomfortable. Remember that the path of least resistance is not always the most rewarding. It takes special people to push themselves in this direction. Be one of those special people!
If you do not have enough positive, inspiring people in your life, supplement them with audio tapes, videos, and inspiring articles. Nourish your gratitude; feed your hunger for inspiration.
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