Knowing how to annoy people may not be your top priority this holiday season- but maybe it should be.
If you have people in your life that you dread being near but the holiday season forces you together; below are ways to decrease the tension and hopefully scare them away.
Even if it's not ingrained in your personality, annoying others may be easier than you think. Ultimately you want to make them wonder about you and keep their distance.
- Complain and vent constantly. Highlight the bad in everything. Go around and exclaim things like, "Good Golly I'm Bored".
- Ask people to prove everything they say.
- Mime when you speak.
- Answer every question with another question.
- Skip rather than walk.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- Start snoring whenever someone tries to talk to you.
Read: Inspirational speakers The Leadership Secrets of Santa Claus
At Meal Time:
- Fill up your plate and head directly to the bathroom- stay here all night.
- Drop a marble into your water and exclaim, "oh no, my glass eye!"
- When the meal arrives shout, "this isn't what I ordered!"
- Bring raw carrots and insist on eating nothing else
- Hide all the alcohol.
At the End of the Night
- Chain yourself to the furniture
- When someone lights a cigarette, tackle the person and yell "Stop, drop, and roll!"
These techniques, used properly, will insure you are never invited back to holiday festivities. Or, you may be pegged as the life of the party and have a full social calendar, it could go either way!
Read: Inspirational speakers Morale Boosters for the Holidays
PS- Spread the love this holiday! As everyone is reporting on how to show people you care- as an inspirational speaker-I decided to do the opposite.