The other day I had my hair cut. I made the mistake of walking into our kitchen and asked my fiance, What do you think honey?
As I look at him, I notice he is nervous and his eyes are darting around the room. He's not focused and he doesn't know where to look or what he did wrong.
I am not a difficult person. Even if he doesn't notice or hates my hair cut, I won't get upset. I asked his opinion because I wanted to hear it. I don't need a motivational talk about how great I look (although it wouldn't hurt).
Why do men respond like a dear caught in the headlights when asked their opinion on appearance? It must be previous training from former unattractive insecure lovers.
What I do know is women are far more complicated than men. We analyze and over analyze things. Men are more direct and far more apt to tell it like it is.
Women use conversation to build relationships and men use it to bat around facts and to establish status. Popular motivational speaker, Deborah Tannen suggests a mans primary reason to communicate is to maintain status and dominance. The motivational speakers motivational talks are about communicating with the opposite sex.
Men also like to solve problems, they immediately look for a solutions. This is likely what my fiance was doing, eyes darting around the room, avoiding my glare. He was formulating his response to my hair debate.
In the future, I will not ask open ended questions about my looks. I will simply exchange information. I will look at him and say, I got my haircut today, and see where it leads.