I chose my fiance because he recycles (OK, and a few other reasons).
If a man recycles it means he is conscientious, he cares about the environment, he is visionary and considerate.
As I found out later, he is a recycling Ninja. We have rules for how to sort and stack plastics, paper and cardboard, which I find very irritating. I don't enjoy being subjected to these over the top annoyances. I love the environment too, but when my fiance is up at midnight monitoring the recycling products, I think that maybe it has gone too far.
Truth is, the problem isn't recycling, it is communication. We don't speak the same language so I find it hard to understand him (and vice versa).
I was a motivational speaker for a women's conference and they discussed one of my favorite topics... men.
Many men and women struggle to communicate with each other in the workplace. This blog is meant to discuss ten tips for women to communicate better with men.
It is an inspiration to communicate better with the opposite sex, at home and work.
- Be Direct. Women communicate feelings and emotions and men communicate fact. To get through to a man, be direct.
- Say Less. Studies show men speak half as many words on a daily basis than women. They tune out excess information.
- Don't Take it Personally. A man of few words is... a man. If he isn't contributing a lot to a conversation this is likely not because of you. Men like to get to the point and feel there is no need for further discussion.
- Say What You Mean. Men are not mind readers; they aren't even particularly intuitive. Don't keep silent and expect him to know what you want, he won't. If you hate his recycling program you have to clearly tell him so.
- Let Him Try to Solve Your Problems. Men are rational and analytical and often jump to solutions. Take the advice with a grain of salt and know that beneath it he is just trying to help.
One of the other motivational speakers at the women's conference talked about the book The Female Brain. It suggests women are better communicators because our brain is so much better attuned to the nuances of the other person. Men are better at hunting, women are better at communicating. Hmm, which skill is more useful today?
The womens conference was an inspiration for me to work on my communication skills with men.
One of the most important parts of communicating effectively with the opposite sex is unravelling a better understanding of the other person. We can clarify our communication patterns through acceptance, by tolerating differences and ultimately communicating better with the opposite sex.
When I was in my early twenties (before I became a motivational speaker), I saw a humorous speaker present at a women's conference. She was speaking on her proposed new book, Women are from Venus, Men are from Satan. It was hilarious and inspiring. It inspired me, in fact, as a motivational speaker to talk on communicating with the opposite sex as a first time conference speaker.
Humorous Motivational Speaker Resources on communicating more effectively, can be found here