You cannot help someone who refuses to take responsibility for his actions. For him, he deflects all criticism and remains stuck as a victim.
Victims cannot heal. Best selling author and motivational wellness speaker, Caroline Myss, suggests these stages to let go of being a victim:
Identify your injuries. Go back and look at your life to unravel the areas of pain and suffering ( wounds)that you may be holding onto.
Have a witness. Partner with someone non- judgemental who will listen and say ...that hurts, I'm sorry. This person must love you enough to walk away and not give these wounds power.
Be aware of how often and how much you use your wounds to define you. If possible keep a journal of times where an excuse
Finally, Study your excuses. Myss suggests you write down excuses and find a pattern. Knowing is half the battle, once you recognize what is holding you back it often dissipitates